Political bashfulness, the intuitive struggle
The more I was being questioned, the more I began to ponder and reflect on the subject. However, I looked at myself as politically introvert and started on to become conscious as far as why.
Duvalier’s regime as an onlooker and not as a participant was fearful enough to know that politic was reserved to a special breed and I at any time of my life would think of joining such club. Of course, lack of pure knowledge, interest or perhaps knowledge of victimized parents, friends or families will certainly keep anyone away. Like many Haitians I had, and I say it very loud, the opportunity to leave Haiti, seeking a better life and opportunities. I left and had no plans to ever come back and the reason was more political than it was economical, it was in 1975 I recalled. My understanding of Haitian politics was overshadowed by my own experience which I know was far less fearful and cruel than many other Haitians living abroad. I knew subsequently and even now that politic was not for me and it meant something totally different than what it really is. I did not want to think about it and often refuted these subliminal reminiscent recalls.
I evoked during a recess in a Florida Teachers Conference in 1987, a “white” young female teacher who was outrageous to find out that I was Haitian, Chairman of a Foreign Language Department in a Southern school district, teaching “white” students instead of teaching in Haiti, helping my own compatriots. She had such a compelling argument that I could not justify to her and those present my true motives to be in the US rather than in Haiti. She sent me home to Georgia where I lived then, thinking and wondering about my own country to which I turned my back to. I tried very hard to keep her out of my mind for many years and for that same many years I was not successful until that day in 1994, the year I finally saw Haiti as truly my home almost two decades later.
I came back and now engaged in a totally different mission but politic. I noticed however that I was running away from it while I was facing and skirmishing the reasons why I should be involved with it.